Know or no, care or doesn't matter. How boring to think these. Yeah, I'm boring now, considering these things, and explore something terrible.
I don't want to let my parents know too much about my debts. Well, they got some info when the begin of this year. I don't care everything which about this thing, just don't want they got more in-depth, because I can't handle they's question.
Friends, they don't know how bad I am, even they know, they can't send me any REAL help, I don't have any wealthy friend, so, what I can ask for friends?
After I paid the debt of JD (I paid that bill delayed a few days), I got a message from JD, it makes me feel heartworm. It says: Even you delayed to send your payment, but because of your good credit history, we won't sign this lousy record to your personal credit history.
I don't know how to say my feeling specified. Thoughted these terrible time, almost all banks saying, "We gonna lower your money credit." or "We are temporary frozen your card." JD's message does really makes me appreciative.
Yeah, I already tested that feel, "Hit a man when he is down." Even I never thought that will happened to me, but it became real. So, at this moment, I'm elementary to get satisfied also just because of a very very tiny thing.
Talk back to the part of title "No one care".
I don't know who is cares about me. Psychologically, I could say I never get any help, specailly these nearly time, no matter how terrible is my psychologically status, no helped. I could get help when I listining music before, but it's no useful at now, this is why I will got a few ideas to finish my life.
Maybe my parents would say "We are care you!" but that's not importent, because no matter how I felt good with this short sentence, they will drop more bad words behind. Such like how great is other people's child, or how much is the work salery of other people's child. Blablabla, all are these. They can't actually help me, these words do drop me in crazy. These, I won't call them as "CARE."
Friends' care, well, I overthink, firends aren't the excellent choice of people's furture life. The ideal is lovely, the truth is when they got their boyfirend/girlfriend/husband/wife, there also will have baby later, at that moment, nobody will care about how is a normall firend's life, even they could remember up sometimes, they can't take enoght attention to care about.
Yeah, I could say "I am alone already." Physically and Psychically..
JD's message was nice, but that's all. It just a nice message, it can't change the pass of these days.
I won't have those dark idea such as "Wish all humen kind got extinct." I just, hope my personal life could get end soon. Selfishly, but I don't care anymore,