I should notice that I should maybe directly give up my life. All my life, for now, just expecting to get the first class of lottery, sounds ridiculous but it's true. That is who I am right now. None of everything, no money no too many friends (friends are getting less), even hope, I had but seems like I forget what's that feeling.

The salary is not received yet, but all those pressing by those friends and banks, they already came. Every day every hour every fucking minute and second, unstoppable. WeChat, SMS, phone call, facetime, my phone can't even take a simple snape. My brain felt like it going to explode.

Primarily those debts from friends, really make me down deep. When I ask them for help, they did very quickly, but I didn't pay them back soon as they did. Even I told them I didn't vision that the band will lower my money credit, that makes me cannot pay back to you. Well, this doesn't help to let my friends understanding. They aren't rich, and I fooled them.

The funning thing is, I was blaming a friend who did a hard delay to pay me back the debt, even I didn't blame him face to face, but I do disappointed for what he did. Count the time to now, nearly one year, and now, the bad guy's title belongs to me.

I got no moon to work already, so tired of everything, including eating and drinking. Seems like, all of these are none of my business. Fuck, maybe I should consider ending my life as soon as possible. Avoid wasting the air.