I don't know why I have only these stupid things that I could write here. All are bad memories / terrible thought / pessimistic vision of the future.
I do thought of death, and it is not that bad, just run away from this world, I don't need to do too many things for die, they're too many ways to let my body find a way out, to feel peace. Either I cloud to get a new circle of life or sleep forever, doesn't matter.
That is what I want, no need to thinking of big money, no need to worry about if there's someone could accompany yourself.
How tragic is my world? I used to look down on equally pessimistic friends, but now I have become the last one. Some people don't care about me. Some people may want to care about me, but they can't get into my heart. I have thought friend relationship is powerful to fix all problems, well, I was wrong, I did that thinking because I didn't test the life for a long time, and now, I get it.
Never mind, all I am thinking about is, ask somebody for a cigarette, and take a deep suck of it.