慢下来,尝试「无所事事地快乐」Slowdown, Go try "Dolce far Niente"

Update 2 Days later: He pays me back some, ¥2000, and I forgot that he paid my rent once, nearly ¥700. So, ehhh, now I don't know what should I do. Maybe I should to delete this post. But I do not really want to do this. Well, keep for now.

I'm taking a train to go home for a few days, the journey will take 12 hours, so I'm just sat here thinking of something. Well, I'm thinking up a thing about a friend who owes me a debt.

I'm taking a train to go home for a few days, the journey will take 12 hours, so I'm just sat here thinking of something.

Well, I'm thinking up a thing about a friend who owes me a debt. It's a pretty simple thing, he bought my phone in March of this year, he doesn't have enough money for full paying for one time, he's my friend so, I don't need to worry about "He won't give me the money", I THINK. So, I allowed him to pay me by stages.

This is the thing, how simple is it? But now I have to worry about it! Why? Since March till NOW! November! almost December! he paid me nothing! I had never directly to push him to give me the money, even I'm already living on a very deep level, and I had to provide a loan for living, I never directly ask him for the money. I said few time that I’m pretty poor, even a idiot can understand that I need money, but he seems like completely don’t know what I’m saying with him.

His most direct reply is "I’m poor too, I don’t have money." And “I could only give you maybe ¥200.” WHAT UP MATE? The fact is "You need to pay me ¥3500" ok?! How long passed already? You COULD payback ¥200 to me? Well, there have one time I tell him I don't have money, and he replied to me "You should go get a work!", because I didn't work for months. LMAO, sounds like these all my fault!

Well, ok and yes, it's all my fault.

A few hours before, I send a message to the group of my friends (he's a member of the group), the message is about "Who can help me to borrow some money to me for an emergency situation". I never expected that he will answer this (normally I put messages like this in the group, he will keep silence to pretend that he didn't see), but this time I don't know why he answered! He said "I can do nothing to help you", the message seems like he tried so hard but he still can't help me. Whatever I just feeling very upset and it really makes me angry! Maybe you just keep silence will be better, but you come up to saying these? Your base salary per month already got ¥6000, now you tell me that you can do "NOTHING"?

I directly put a message to ask him "When you can get your salary?", I also put a @ before his name, this can make him unable to ignore this message. Well, he replies to me "What else? Next month". I don't know how it will be feeling like, to me, it's really a defiance of me! Everyone got salary monthly ok? "What I'm asking is the date!" says me. What happens next is HE IGNORED THIS MESSAGE!

Ohhh, good work! What else I can say?! Before this thing, I never thought that he is a person "AWFUL LIKE THIS", he just a man who kind and sensitive, even sometimes will make people like to take care of him. Again, I even cannot imagine he will do things like this to me. I never expected who will treat me like their BEST friend, but I also never thought that NORMAL friends could do a thing like this.

Yes, I got a lot of debts needs to pay, mostly part of Banks, also have few of other friends. I will pay back to friends first if they asked me because that means them needs money, even the cost is I need to delay to pay to Banks, and it's meaning my "Personal Credit Report" officially of government will be damaged. This is me, what I'll think and act of things of payback money, so, this is why I can't imagine why he can do that to me.

Maybe he didn't treat me as his friend? Maybe, but I can't easily agree that. All of my other friends, they all think that" I should directly drop my questions (of the debt) to his face".

"You did nothing wrong! What are you worry about of question him?" says by my friends.

Well, first at all, I'm not a good taker, the second is, maybe I'm just afraid that I will lose a friend (even I don't know what kind of friendship between us).

I never showed up my sensitive to anyone, I don't know can they feel that ”I'm lonely”. Maybe there still have few friends of mine can get what I'm feeling and, keep since to avoid to make me embarrassing.

And just accompany me, yeah, I knew few, even they are really quite of few people.